2 days til xmas

2 days til christmas.

haha. i can't believe it's nearly christmas. =)) kaso, im gonna have a sad and boring christmas because isabel's not around.:(( she's gonna celebrate christmas, new year, MY BIRTHDAY![-( and maybe also valentines day in the states. this sucks. i wont be able to hane with her during the fair, my birthday, christmas and new year! events will be soo boring without her. because she's the only one i get to talk to during boring family reunions and stuff. actually, she isn't the only one.. i also get to talk to my tita, but, im still gonna miss her. : :(( tapos alex wont be around because obviously, he's also in america with isabel (duh lara, alex and isabel are brothers. :) well, anyway.

it's 12.00 but my pc's not connected to the internet that's why im gonna copy paste this entry later. LATER WHEN NO ONE'S HOME TO BUG ME! >:)

tsss. i woke up at about 11.15. i slept at 3am. how many hours of sleep did i get? uhhh. 4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11. i got 8 hours of sleep. the exact amount of sleep a teenager should get. i had no plans on waking up at 11am! : i was supposed to wake up at about 1am to get back all the sleep that i need BUT NO!!! my lolo woke me up! because of the stupid cooking oil. if yesterday, they woke me up because they wanted me to take lunch, NOW, they woke me up because they needed the damn cooking oil to COOK lunch. errr. why don't they get it themselves?! im pissed. *8- it happened like this..

i was still in dreamland, dreaming about how life could be if i had wifi or DSL instead of dial-up. : (this is how i'm addicted with the internet, i bring the addiction with me even in my sleep) anyway, un nga, i was dreaming... i was having a great time! i felt extreme joy and POWER. YEAH! POWER! i felt the speed of browsing from one page to another without waiting for 60 seconds or more. : i was having a great time! hell yeah! plus, my housemates here didn't give a shit with what i was doing. that was the BEST DREAM EVER. ay. not really the best dream but...one of my best dreams ever. then suddenly, i heard a voice. A VOICE SOO IRRITATING, THE HUMAN EAR COULD NOT TAKE. THE IMPACT OF HIS VOICE SOMETIMES crushes my little heart. :( =(( anyway, i heard my lolo's voice. i woke up. followed his order then gave him the stupid cooking oil. he was not contented! he told me to go to the kitchen, and give it to my lola. ERRRRR!!!! he ruined my beauty sleep. curse him.: doesn't he know how much it sucks whenever you have to walk all the way to the other end of the house. TAKE NOTE: you're walking as if you're sleepwalking. YES. sleepwalking. i was that SLEEPY. thanks to him i'm awake right now. :

and now, he's forcing me to eat! [-( i'm gonna eat when i FEEL like it. as of now, i don't feel like eating that's why i won't eat. what he did kanina was SOOO INHUMANE. :(( :(( :(( wait til my mom hears this story. : i bet she's gonna get mad at me again. :(( thanks to my lolo. MY LOLO'S TRYING TO BRAINWASH MY MOM. :(( my mom's all i've got left and now he's trying to take her from me. :(( seee, i don't have a dad. maybe i have a dad. actually, i do have a father. BUT THEY'RE SEPARATED and i live with my mom.. this is the story.

when i was seven, my mom and dad started fighting and getting on each others nerves. CAUSE?: money. yes. my dad quit his job because he found out that my mom's income is way larger than his and that he thought that he didn't offer much help. (that is according to my mom. i haven't heard his side. actually, i dont plan on hearing it.) they had lots of arguments and my mom would kick him out of our house whenever they had a fight. (we used to live at quezon city, thanks to my dad, our house got foreclosed by the bank and now, I AM FORCED TO LIVE IN THIS HELL with all these DEMONS with me.) eventually, after all those fighting, screaming and stuff, my dad left us FOR GOOD and my MOM had no plans on accepting him..EVER. at first, i was mad at him, because the image that was planted on my head BY MY MOM was that, "MY DAD IS A VERY IRRESPONSIBLE INDIVIDUAL, HE HAS NO RIGHT TO BE WITH HIS CHILDREN". that was like the message that my mom told me when she BRAINWASHED MY DELICATE MIND. my dad would visit us, but, i would order the maids to lock the door and close all the windows. when i was in grade 3, that was when we left QC. that was also the time when i kinda understood my dad and that was when i talked to him in private. (i was never allowed by my mom to talk to my dad) my dad would sometimes give us groceries and money. but when my mom finds out about it, she'd laugh about it and tell me, "BARYA LANG YAN". my junior years in grade school was not really my happy years because .. i didn't have a father and my mom had a boyfriend when i was in grade 2. GRADE 4: my mom had a boyfriend. AGAIN. they were together for almost one year. for me, it's okay for my mom to have a boyfriend. BUT, she has to know her limits. imagine this. my mom's not home 7 times a week because she sleeps with her boyfriend. and, i heard that she keeps on buying stuff for her boyfriend's daughter but buys me one t-shirt in 3 months?! and she does not even bring me along during her dates. and suddenly tells me..

"LARA?! bakit pa-ulit ulit mo yan sinusuot?! dami dami mong damit ha!"

i never answered my mom back til' this day when i said..

" BAKIT?! paano ako magkakaroon ng ibang damit!? eh hindi mo nga ako sinasama e! palagi mo nalang bunubuhos money mo sa boyfriend mong walang kwenta! you love him more than your own children!!! you buy him 5k worth of clothes and you dont even buy your children new stuff!! MOM!!! grade 2 pa ung mga damit na yun! HINDI NA UN KASYA SAKIN! ay! hindi lang pala sa bf mo ung money.. pati sa anak nya!!! mom, hindi mo un anak! ako daughter mo!"

after that incident, my mom bought me tons of clothes. <:-p

anyway. im already lazy.. im gonna summarize everything nalang..
after that, they broke up.. during the time nga pala na she was together with her boyfriend, i was one hell of a rebel and i was nearly kicked out of sp. i had LOW grades rin.

she broke up with him, me and my mom started bonding.. i quit my evil acts, and focused more on my academics. (not always, but, most of the time) aun. i became a better person. ganun. wah. bye na. haha!